it was yesterday, the first time i felt the worst pain and hurt ever )'; i felt like im useless and good for nothing and i was realize that i really and too love him so much until i get this. but i thank God just because of that case, i came back to God and have hope with Jesus Christ. cause' He's the only who can love us just the way we are even though we hurt him so much ;')

lately, im getting sensitive with him, and i felt like im not me. i don't even know who is myself. im getting blind. everyday i asked why, why and why im like this. i make my own life worst until it is affected with my relationship. but i really thank God and so grateful that i have him as my mate in my life. i never met that such guy who always patient at me even though how rude i am to him. he keep saying that he love me so much how matter what. that make me more sad because why am i doing this to him? huhh..

and now i still can't accept that he is working at workshop with his dad. i know he is safe at there because got his dad take care of him. but this year i wish i can have time with him in this school holidays. and sadly, i can't )'; 2 months i suffer with this, he kept telling me to be patient. but yeah, i am. i don't know what should i do to accept all this. i hope i can free with all this, honestly, i can't stand it anymore )'; i hurt myself. well, i just wait for 1 month again. hope everything gonna be fine cause i know, love can change anything. :)