huuu bye bye may ! last suda ni hari bulan may. waaa, punya men cpt kan? maka haritu mnggu sy bulan may, sbb harijadi si buah hati. skali tingu, waa 31may suda ne, adii. punya laahh, but i like this month. in this month la i learn how to face problems in good way, i learn to be patient, to love and sacrifice. yeah, it is hard to do it but after you try ur best to do it, i feel like, you're strong enough to face it, to face the hurts in ur heart.

in this month too, i learn mcm mna mau pertahankan hubungan tu, i learn not to get mad to person that i love. because logistically lah, kau syg tu urang, then kau mau marah, blaming each other. heeey merusakkan hubungan ja. kita harus BERTOLAK ANSUR antara satu sma lain. if you hurts, yeah share it. supaya tu kesilapan boleh diperbaiki. betul ngak ? hoho sy bukan mau tambirang la. sbb sy tingu la ada urang2 tu  kan, klu sda sakit hati, mst ckp mau mati la, nda snggup la, lelaki suma sama d dunia ne. what a crappp -___-

dulu pn sy pkir gitu jg, sy anggap suma lelaki ne sama seja. but im wrong, if you love that person, you must treasure them, and you'll find durang punya keistimewaan. yeah, im not lying, tp ne la sy dapat. satu lg, klu sy mcm nda tahan menahan sakit, sy ingat , "if you want to love, love like Jesus loved you", naaah ne la yang kasi sy smangat mau prtahankan tu hbungan. klu sy love mcm urang d dunia ne, maybe mimang nda boleh tahan. tp love of Jesus is just so great, if you have the love of Jesus you will love the person until it hurts, sacrifice for them. <3

it was yesterday, (';
im so happy with you, even though we just around the church, its okay, as long i am with you, im happy <3
i really miss ur hugs and thanks for your hugs yesterday dear.
im happy when you hold my hands and kiss my hand and say that you love me.
i know you never meant to hurt me, but i can see, you dont really get what i want and what i feels.
yeahh, now i really know you, but its okay. one day you'll know me better (';

now its 300511.
holiday? yeah, ka'amatan. and he's going to Semporna. i just don't know why i don't want to let you go. damn, its so hard for me and hurts me. i don't know why, like im fooling myself even though nothing wrong. stupid right? and im so weak with forcing my feelings, i can't stand it. )'; when i sad or hurt, my tears will fall. i hate it actually but yeah that is me. hm, but i let him go, i don't say "no" to him, i just say "ohh i see", means i just let him go. cause when i start to force him, i'll directly remember this quotes "if you love the person, you must set them free". yeahh that's why. i can't sleep after i awake at 3.10am after calling with him, but im not off my phone, i just let it like that, calling. he went to sleep, even though i still wanna talk with him, but hm, i just let him sleep. its okay..its okay. one day there's my time. one day..


how much it hurts, i still love him. i sacrifice a lot, because i love him. as mother Teresa said "Love until it hurts" . most important, love the way of Jesus love us <3

i wish sometimes you can understand what i want ); and yet, i know im ego and selfish. fool me, illoveyou <3 )';

sorry if i'm Ego. I love youu,
)'; ♥

in the car, after send my dear home ;


me ; close eyes,
lil bro ; xda abang hanhan baru tidur, tadi ada abang hanhan cerita jak.
me ; WHAT THE?!!! O.O!!

tiba tiba mau buat tu card library supaya boleh pinjam buku. -____- need to change.

as usual, at 12am. i will call my dear. and last night, when i was call him, he directly said to me that he had a bad dream. and i ask what was it, and he tell me he dreamed that i go to other guy. there was a party at my home, and he was talking with my dad. suddenly he saw me with other guy, holding hands and looks very happy. and he said to me, the way i hold the guys hand just like i hold his hands. in that moment too, in his heart saying that "why she do this to me?", he can't stand it anymore. so he want to back home, his mom fetch him. he wait outside my house, and i'm still with that guy, ignoring him. when his mom arrive at my home, his mom saw i with the other guy, and his mom said to him "her boyfriend?", and he told me too, that his tears keep on falling. on the way back, he told me that he wants to call me, but i call him first and not by my number, but the guy who was with me. on that time, he told me that i kept on pretending that im just friend with that guy, nothing more. . .

while he told me about this, he was in tears, and me too. i was very touching, i never saw a guy before that is so meaningful and afraid to lose until he falls his tears. even though it is just a DREAM. not a reality, i really thanks God, i met him, i love him, and be with him. i never felt this feeling before, it is just so beautiful. i never been loved like this before. i can feel his love for me is deeper than the sea. he is my special gift ever ♥



I love you John and always be <3

hurm, ne hari ada tu SYD cross dr Ranau dtg. so got youth gathering at church, as usual, im with my love. the touching moment when its time to reflect to the cross. Oh Lord, i can't say any words, i just can fall my tears, and keep praising God and felt so sorry of my sins )'; i really can felt the love and the Holy Spirit touches me a lot. Touches me too, when i heard my dear singing the song of  Lead me to the Cross, waa. in that time, i felt really touching lah, i can felt that love is so deep, deep than the sea. i just can't express it. its just so beautiful that moment ;') Thank you Lord Jesus, you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life ! ♥

bangun awal jam 8, konon mau p cuci tu cadar, selimut apa semua. taaaaaaapi ............................
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terpengaruh sma ne komputer, mau edit pic, update blog, apa semua. haha ! tingkap pn blm d buka,aiyaa. pa mcm ba ne perawan -.- nda lama lagi sy ne rajin, kejap la. hoho

KONON nya laah, actually ada lagi. 3 paper lagi, tu pun yg kacang hijau punyaa, Moral, Sivik & Seni -___- buang masa seja ne ba. tp Moral ya laah, SPM masuk, adii, sesat betul ! anyway sy happy sebab sda lepas paper yang bikin sawan ; sej, geo, maths, sc ! <- gila punya paper, urng gila pn x jadi gila mnjawab. hahaha!

















OHYAAAA , SATU HAL LAGI, saya tau kamu MISS POST SAYA KAN ? mwahahaha !!

hari paling hebat lah. di situ kita berbahagia , disitu jgk dia berduka. -_____________-


THIS ;