i felt it was like a year we've never contact each other and meet. even though we're contact to each other everyday. i just feel so lonely and empty. he's too busy with his school life. i just can't stand it. its just too long, its just too hard for me )'; i have decided to give up. but that was a stupid decision. i change my mind and i force my self to accept what things goes on now and situation. just as the quote says, "sometimes we just have to deal with the fact that life doesn't always goes our way". and i know he do this for our own good future, until we can get married and live a happy life together. (; so i just have to stay strong even though it is pain & hurt..

so true there. i just can't force my tears to fall just after came back from school. i don't know why. i hv tried to hold it, but it just can't. friends, lover ? just the same, MY TEARS FALL. no one cares except God, yeah ..

Wow, it's been a long time I've not update my blog. Full of flies. Hahah. Btw, many changes goes to my life this year. too many. too much. too many much. huh -_-

results will be coming out on this Thursday. and im dead -______-

sayang,

im sorry. sy makin sensitif. i don't know what to do. i hope you will always have patient on me until i can get rid of my sensitive feelings. i know it hurts you, i know you tired with all this. but by doing that, you prove me that you love me. kau tak pernah mengeluh sy begini. im so grateful to have you sayang ;') thank you for being mine. tapi sorry kalau sy suka marah marah disebabkan kau kerja. kau busy sangat. sy perlukan kau, tp kau sibuk betul. sayang, have time for me please? i miss you so much. special thing about you is, kau tetap sabar sma sy walau mcm mana pun sy ni. kau pandai ambil hati sy. kau tak pernah tambahkn lg masalah. sayang, im sorry. im so sorry. sy cepat marah + ego + sensitive. tp pelan pelan lah, sy mau kasi hilang suma tu. John Peter,
he's the best guy i hv ever met before ;') ♥

it was yesterday, the first time i felt the worst pain and hurt ever )'; i felt like im useless and good for nothing and i was realize that i really and too love him so much until i get this. but i thank God just because of that case, i came back to God and have hope with Jesus Christ. cause' He's the only who can love us just the way we are even though we hurt him so much ;')

lately, im getting sensitive with him, and i felt like im not me. i don't even know who is myself. im getting blind. everyday i asked why, why and why im like this. i make my own life worst until it is affected with my relationship. but i really thank God and so grateful that i have him as my mate in my life. i never met that such guy who always patient at me even though how rude i am to him. he keep saying that he love me so much how matter what. that make me more sad because why am i doing this to him? huhh..

and now i still can't accept that he is working at workshop with his dad. i know he is safe at there because got his dad take care of him. but this year i wish i can have time with him in this school holidays. and sadly, i can't )'; 2 months i suffer with this, he kept telling me to be patient. but yeah, i am. i don't know what should i do to accept all this. i hope i can free with all this, honestly, i can't stand it anymore )'; i hurt myself. well, i just wait for 1 month again. hope everything gonna be fine cause i know, love can change anything. :)